


Last Hope

by sariloire



Series: Ashae Lavellan [22]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Prompt Fic, comic included at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 14:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5337308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sariloire/pseuds/sariloire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashae tries to talk to Solas one last time before leaving to fight Corypheus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Hope

She was going to talk to him one last time.

It was all she could do.

She had tried so many other times, and each time she had failed. Solas had either been suddenly absent from the rotunda, ended their conversation abruptly so he could ‘get back to reading’, or kept his replies short and businesslike before cutting her off when she tried to turn the conversation to their relationship.

Their ended relationship, rather.

It had been months, and she was still hurting. Ashae considered herself strong, she had always been independent and fought for the things she wanted. So when she was faced with heartache that she couldn’t fight her way through, it had blindsided her. Almost as much as Solas had blindsided her when he cut off their relationship.

She wanted to hate him as much as she had wanted to scream and rage at him when he ended it. But there had been too much pain and hurt in his eyes as he had pulled away from her. The way he had shook his head and stepped back, and held out his hands as if to stop her from getting too close. It had hit her so hard that she couldn’t do anything but beg him not to leave her, to tell him she loved him, to ask why this world wasn’t sufficient enough for them to be together.

She had known he was hurting himself, just as much as he was hurting her. She didn’t understand it then, and even several months later, she still didn’t understand it. He hadn’t wanted to end it. His back was shaking as he retreated, leaving her behind in that glen.

But she had never been able to get him to explain why, despite trying over and over.

This time would be different though.

This was her last hope.

The final night before they left to fight Corypheus. The last time she would be able to speak to him away from the prying eyes of their traveling party. The last time she could ask him what she had done to hurt him so, and what was so important that he was willing to hurt himself just as much.

Ashae walked into the rotunda, looking around in the dim light. The library above seemed empty, it was late. Solas was standing before the only patch of wall he hadn’t yet painted.

“Inquisitor.” His voice carried through the room, he glanced over his shoulder and nodded slightly. “How may I help you prepare for our final battle?”

His tone left no doubt that he intended to keep this talk professional, as with the others. Ashae walked over to stand at his side, turning to face him directly as he stared resolutely at the wall ahead.

“I’d like to discuss what happened before, Solas.” Probably the biggest understatement she had ever made in her life, but she kept the accusation out of her tone. The air in the room seemed even more charged than normal, and she saw Solas clench his jaw before responding.

“I’m afraid that wouldn’t be appropriate at this time.” His words and tone were not unkind. He had never been unkind with her, despite being completely infuriating with his unwillingness to talk of what had happened between them. “We must focus on what truly matters.”

He turned to face her, but his eyes were looking slightly to her left, staring at the wall over her shoulder. “Harden your heart to a cutting edge, and put that pain to good use against Corypheus.”

“It would help me if you could explain why.” Ashae didn’t expect an answer. It was a question she had asked so many times, in so many different ways. None leading to a response that shed any light on what had happened in Crestwood.

“The answers would only lead to more questions, an emotional entanglement that would benefit neither of us.” His eyes met hers briefly, and for just a moment she could see a glimpse of pain behind them, before they moved back to the unpainted wall. “The blame is mine, not yours.” His voice was quiet and tortured, and his hands clenched momentarily at his sides. “It was irresponsible and selfish of me. Let that be enough.”

“You really don’t let anybody see under that polite mask you wear, do you?” The words came out with a bite that sounded harsh even to her own ears, but it was what she had felt ever since Crestwood. Every time she had seen him with a neutral expression pretending like nothing had ever happened between them. Every time he called her  _Inquisitor_  with the same mouth that had called her  _vhenan_ , the same mouth that had tasted her own.

He turned to face her, and in his eyes she saw raw, uncontained sorrow.

“You saw more than most.”

She moved at those words, before her brain could catch up to her movements. Ashae wrapped her arms around his shoulders and buried her face in his chest. A heartbeat later and she felt his face press into her hair and hand press into her back, pulling her closer.

It was only a moment, no longer, before Solas stepped away. He didn’t turn his back fast enough, though, and Ashae saw the tear tracks that ran down his cheeks as he walks to his desk, leaning over the books spread open.

“Let me know if I can be of any more help in planning our final fight.”

**Author's Note:**

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>  (comic by myself)


End file.
